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The goal of my life
Hi You all!
I just have to write and tell about it.
You don’t understand it until you understand it.
I have no intention to make anyone feel anxious… on the contrary.
I have asked questions and I have searched... for Jesus, for God… for quite some time now. Surprise, surprise...=)
On Friday the 11th of Jan. 2002 I went to this event and finally felt that now I know I’m a believer. On Saturday I was so excited and rejoiced in my mind. However, my thoughts were distracted by this "news" that I got. At first I thought that hey, it came at a very convenient time! I will manage it much better now than for example a day earlier, but that’s not how it went… The things on my mind took me away form the conversation I had with Jesus. I went over it in my mind and "forgot" about Jesus. But luckily, on Saturday evening I went again to this event, where I met a believer and realized, that the news I mentioned earlier was a message from heaven, although I hadn’t discussed the news with the believer I met. I realized that I ALONE will one day account for my actions IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD. Some day there will only be God and I.
But even this was not enough. On Sunday evening I went to a St. Thomas Mass, where I talked with the pastor. He told me about mercy and the forgiveness for sins, which I were, of course, already familiar with. The pastor compared my situation aptly to the story in the Bible about the 99 sheep and the one that got lost. Yeah, it’s really hard to guess… exactly, I am the one that got lost, the weak one. Ok so that was pretty good, but then the pastor told me that the only thing the lost sheep could do was bleat for help. It couldn’t do anything else. And that was when I realized that neither could I!
After the talk with the pastor the mass begun. I listened to the singing and the talking, even though my thoughts still wandered a bit. Somehow it was hard for me to join others in their praising of Jesus. All I could do was enviously watch all these people around me feeling good.
I happened to sit next to one of these tables for prayer request, where people come to write their requests on pieces of paper. After watching them do that for a while I wrote one of my own: "Jesus, carry me to the 99 lambs. Have mercy on me". I didn’t know then that they read some of these prayer requests on the altar. There were probably about a hundred requests (the place was full. The St. Thomas Mass is an intercongregational event and consequently very popular). And so it happened that… after a moment I heard "JESUS CARRY ME TO THE 99 LAMBS. HAVE MERCY ON ME". I felt warmth and peace, but nothing ”big”, even though I felt really good.
On Monday night I then started an Alpha course. I had again passed the day more or less going stuff through my mind, but I still felt pretty much ok.
I met really nice people at the Alpha course and I got to question things. Most of the people had become believers only recently and I regretted in my mind (and actually aloud as well) how they could tell the exact time when they received their faith and… what did I have?!?!
We ended the meeting with a moment of prayer and also a few words of prayer were uttered in my behalf. It was a real pity that it ended and I had to go home. I had to wait patiently until next Monday. There I felt really nice as well and… I had a lot of fun =))
On Tuesday I thought I’d go to one of these events again, but then I decided to go to an ice-hockey game instead, Jokerit against JYP!?!? I had a little bit of a bad conscience for such a decision… Especially as it was Jokerit and not HIFK that was playing, ha ha! I took a small book to my breast pocket. On the inside of the front cover there was an inscription: "Given to daddy on 9th of Nov. 2000 by Jasmin". I had completely forgotten the book existed! It has the New Testament and the Psalms.
I sat on the uppermost row… I felt ok and still I realized I was ”bleating” =)
... when suddenly, at the beginning of the first period
... I felt the warmth
... tears started flowing from my eyes
... I was all out of breath
... I realized
... the Holy Spirit had entered me!!!
Not in a church but at a hockey game!?
On yes, and at a game with Jokerit too?!?! =)
And that was not even the end of God’s humor. I had asked for the exact time and I got even more. So… Hartwall Arena 15th of Jan. 2001, 6:32 p.m., stand 316, row 14, seat 117. Well… it could’ve taken less for me to believe =)
I won’t deny that I got confused and after the experience I looked nervously around to see if anyone had noticed. Yes… I’m not strong enough to shout it out in the presence of almost 10.000 spectators.
So one reason why I write about all this to you is because it has been written:
"If on your lips is the confession, ’Jesus is Lord’, and in your heart the faith that God raised him from the dead, then you will find salvation. For the faith that leads to righteousness is in the heart, and the confession that leads to salvation is upon the lips." Romans 10:9-10
The rest of the game I spent "floating above ground" and praying. I left after second period. According to the text-TV the game ended 0-0, even after overtime. Not a single goal and still the goal of my life was made in that game!
And another reason: My faith grows stronger hopefully every day, but I’m still the same Michael, Mikael, Mikki, Mikke, Miklu, Miksu, Miika, Miiku and so on, whatever name you choose to call me by… But still I’m also a different ”guy”. My life values have changed… not much, but enough for my sins to be forgiven and that
I have given the events in my future and my heart to Jesus!
I still like to party…and I still play hard in floorball games, I still regret or celebrate over how the Vaasan Palloseura is doing and so on. =)
So this kind of a story ... =)
Blessings to all of you
...also to Jokerit fans =)
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